i scream

summers mean ice cream. it's not that ice cream isn't a part of my life on a year-round basis, but summer means self-churned ice cream, made with my own two hands (and an ingenious little machine). this reasoning differs somewhat from most people's experiences - they remember ice cream trucks. but when i was little, the sound of the ice cream man was heard chortling down the street once a summer at most. apparently, a highway on which more livestock than people live did not garner much attention from selfish, profit-seeking ice cream peddlers.

i can't imagine what ice cream production was like before my little motorized box of whirling frigidity. apparently, the first ice cream parlor opened in new york city in 1776, making american colonists the first group to recognize the awesomeness of what was then known as iced cream. this is most assuredly why we proved victorious in our revolution against the wicked british, who lacked the power, strength, and refreshing coolness of haagen dazs.

actually, some american dude named reuben mattus started haagen dazs in 1960, choosing the name because it sounded danish and clearly, the danish are ice cream experts? oh well. though haagen dazs is unconscionably expensive, at least it's not this kind of crazy:

this is kind of awesome in its insanity. what the hell is the point of saving the glacier if you're only going to continue to decimate it by incorporating its ice into outlandishly expensive sundaes for the rich? thank god the t-shirt is organic, or i might worry about this vacation's carbon footprint. actually, i want this vacation. someone get me this vacation.

after the invention of the continuous process freezer was invented in 1926, mass distribution of ice cream to the american public was off to the races. ice cream for the proletariat!

one of the things that fascinates me about ice cream is its adaptability. it can be pretty much any flavor (avocado! basil! mango wine!) and can be sandwiched, frozen onto a stick, or crammed full of creams and baked goods, ready to be distributed by the friendly ice cream man in his carnivalesque van, which evokes a state fair on wheels:

i've now heard too many stories about child molesters driving these things, evil-minded pied pipers of sugar who might shove your child into the back of the van with the frozen treats. child molesters ruin everything.

there are a number of variations on ice cream - sherbets, gelatos, soft serve, frozen yogurt, milk ices. sorbet is an especially ubiquitous example, and one that i've become obsessed with, since i'm comfortable fiddling with recipes as i learn how to use my extremely discounted cuisinart ice cream maker, an item i am inordinately proud of owning.

sorbets are generally not made with cream, which separates them from ice creams and sherbets. my favorite ones are simple and divide into two categories - rich, and crisp. recipes!

i like chocolate. a lot. this is serious, unadulterated, bittersweet chocolate.

chocolate sorbet
2 1/4 cups water
1 cup sugar
3/4 cup cocoa powder
pinch of salt
6 oz. bittersweet chocolate, chopped
1/2 tsp. vanilla

in a large saucepan, whisk together 1 1/2 cups of the water with the sugar, cocoa powder, and salt. bring to a boil, whisking frequently. let it boil while whisking for 45 sec. remove from heat and stir in the chocolate. after it has melted, stir in the vanilla and remaining water. when it's cool enough, transfer to a blender and blend for 15 sec. chill thoroughly and throw it in your ice cream maker. sometimes it will not flow after sitting in your fridge. let it thaw a bit and then whisk it if this happens to you.

if i want something really crisp and refreshing, i go with a white wine and fruit sorbet. the alcohol from the wine keeps the sorbet from ever completely freezing, creating a really smooth texture.

raspberry wine sorbet
2 cups white wine
2/3 cup sugar
3 cups raspberries, fresh or frozen

in a medium saucepan, bring the wine and sugar to a boil. remove from the heat, add the raspberries, and let cool to room temp. throw the mixture in the blender and puree, then pass through a fine-mesh sieve. chill thoroughly and then throw it in your magic ice cream machine. this can be made using pretty much any wine and is totes awesome using champagne or sparkling cider. you can also swap out the fruit for something like mango or pineapple or apricot, though if you use a citrus you'll want to up the sugar ante.

it is now summer. in celebration - one of the only songs that both my mother and i actually like.